Jezz’s Daily Story

No time to write! I’ve been too busy enjoying fine music. In honour of the Billy Bragg show, I’m going to post one of his own stories for you. This guy’s great – listen to him if you haven’t.

 —

She said it was just a figment of speech
And I said “You mean figure,” and she said “No, figment”
Because she could never imagine it happening. But it did.

When we first met I played the Shy boy.
When she spoke to me for the first time my nose began to bleed -
She guessed the rest.

The next day we went on a bus ride to the ferry,
And when nobody came to collect our fares
Well I knew then this was something special.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her
And every time I switched on the radio
There was somebody else singing a song about the two of us.

It was just like being on a fast ride at the fun fair -
The sort you want to get off because it’s scary,
And then as soon as you’re off you want get straight back on again.
But oh love is strange
And you have to learn to take the crunchy with the smooth I suppose.

She began going out with Mr. Potato Head.
It was when I saw her in he car park,
With his coat around her shoulders that I realized.
I went home and thought about the two of them together
Until the bathwater went cold around me.
I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
And about the point where their bodies met.

I confronted her about it -
I said, “I’m the most illegible bachelor in town,” And she said “Yeah that’s why I
could never understand any of those silly letters you sent me.”
And then one day it happened -
She cut her hair and I stopped loving her.